I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
a search helicopter?!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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