I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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