WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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