Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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