Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i was born a porn star she said
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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