Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
