Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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