Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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