I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
