It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
