We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
