Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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