Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
