It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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