when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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