I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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