This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
