yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
