dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
