You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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