So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
