this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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