In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
