Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
