we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
