the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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