I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
