Nicole vs. Life
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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