Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
