the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
