I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Drake has all the answers
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
