I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
