Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
