Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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