Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
