I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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