It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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