I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
