So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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