Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
