O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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