There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
ttyl tear gas
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
