is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
