sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
