I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
