she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
