Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
