3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You dont lie about slip and slides
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Randomize
