Are we in a gay sports bar?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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