He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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